What the fuck does that mean? Dark as compared to what? I wonder if Tim Burton got these responses before he was big (or still does).

I don’t really think of my work as dark, but I know that it makes some people uncomfortable. It is confrontational on purpose, and if someone thinks it is dark, chances are they see something inside themselves reflected back, possibly afraid to examine further. I have sabotaged meeting people by sending a link to my site first. I have ended conversations with my work. Once Tonka had to leave the room. Mind you, I’m not complaining, it’s a great filtering tool.

It is not art without a reaction. The answer to that timeless question, ‘is it art’?

So I have made a decision. I will embrace the darkness. And if you thought my work was ‘dark’ before…

I bought an iPhone not too long ago – yeah, I officially became one of those. I actually love it – now I have two ipods. Being that my phone memory is smaller that my ipod, I elected to copy the ‘greatest hits’ if you will of my music selection to my phone. But what became of all this surprised me.

When I would turn off my iPhone after getting home or out of MUNI, the song that was playing would stick with me. Even more geek-like, if that song just ended, often I would start singing the next song (in my mind – well, okay, sometimes out loud) on the album/compilation. Now this in itself isn’t too odd, but these days I listen to my ipod at work and at the gym, and most other times (read traveling) I am plugged into the iPhone, spewing out the ‘greatest hits’ collection of my repertoire.

So this has led to having two distinct music tracks going in my head. Yes, two. And at times, I will swap between them almost seamlessly. I am unsure what this is doing to my work and painting habits, though I am sure it’s a testament to multitasking.

I was in a friend of the family’s new condo, and it was here in San Francisco. The family friend was sleeping, oddly enough his wife wasn’t in the picture. My mom was also there, asleep on the couch and as soon as I can remember, I see funnel clouds descending from the sky… actually a bunch of them (there were big glass windows to see out of).

Funny that in a city known for earthquakes my mind went to tornadoes.

So the place starts rocking, no, more tilting like a spinning top ready to fall over. There was this sculpture in one of the rooms that I created (not during this dream, it was just one of my pieces) with moving parts, not unlike a pendulum. I watched it swing around to show just how far the building was moving around, particularly a top piece yellow and chartreuse, that when it was perfectly horizontal meant I was in real trouble.

I recall running into an empty room and thinking ‘this feels just like being drunk’ (the bad kind) and running back out of that room. The condo was pretty sizeable, I ran around in a panic for some time, knowing at any time the foundation would give way and I would be a mingle of cement and glass soup on the street, another casualty of mother nature.

I also recall some other rooms in the condo while running around that were closed off, and for some reason I caught the notion that this is were the friend kept his porn.

I’m pretty sure my father was some where in the mix, but that might be from the (immediately?) previous dream which he and my mother were definitely in, along with the family friend as he was showing off his new deck that converts into a spa on button press. Yes, a deck that converts into a spa… kinda like one of those hidden pool things. This wasn’t in the condo though.

Then the swaying stopped and it cleared up. Soon after the son of the family friend came walking in and I said ‘Hi! Is the wife and child here too?’ He replied yes. This other three part family came in (Mother, Father, and Son) and asked about the tornadoes. I immediately launched into my panic mood again in descriptions of the ordeal and talking about the sculpture with the top piece. I was so exasperated talking about the experience I could hardly breathe.

And that was it.

My mind has drifted to sculpture on more than one occasion with several false starts. Maybe I will try my hand at it again. I seem to have this yellow and chartreuse piece in mind…

Flowers on MUNI:

Creepy.

I promise I will be back with an art related post in the near future.

1. The ‘cell phone talker’

The other day this guy is on the crunch machine and talking on his cell phone. Loud. In Spanish. I could seriously hear him over my headphones. The people who are gabbing while working out fascinate me. I mean, what does the person on the other end hear? “Yeah, I will <gasp> be there <groan> in about <whew> an hour!” Can you really be getting a good workout? This is indicative how cell phone rudeness has hit an all time low.

2. The ‘over perfumed cuz I don’t want to smell like I’m working out’

Hey, guess what? Some of us are allergic to the stank resulting from the corporate capitalization on your fear that you’re alone because you are normal and produce scent. Guess how it’s still done in the animal kingdom. Oh, maybe that is why you’re alone. Get over it. You are at a gym.

3. The ‘aerosol deodorant’ guy

See above. Though these guys (I say guys cuz it’s witnessed in the locker room) take it a step further by spraying their deodorant on. Now, not only is the stuff disgusting in the first place, but the spray permeates every mucus membrane in a ten foot radius. Hacking and sinus infections ensue!

4. The ‘I can’t wait one minute’ guy

Not so much on the machines, which when it happens is annoying as all hell, but worse yet is the crowded locker rooms, when that one guy has to push everyone out of the way cuz he HAS TO CHANGE AND GET OUT OF HERE NOW. Dude, there is just no room, and I don’t want your sweaty anything rubbing against me. Give me a minute and you will have PLENTY of room. I promise.

5. The ‘walk around and look cool’ guy

This is the most enigmatic of the gym ne’r-do-well’ers. They look great, and they know it. So they walk around the gym, usually in a distinct circular pattern, checking out the machines, occasionally doing a set here and there with a douchey smugness that is surpassed only by the nitwits on Jersey Shore. What I don’t understand about these guys is how they look so good.  They are hardly breaking a sweat and in the hour to two hour time frame I’m there, I see them maybe doing two sets max on some small machine.

6. The ‘bottle fillers’

This one needs little explanation. You know who they are, filling their bottle at the water fountain while the line queues up behind them. If you are that serious about hydration, buy a bigger bottle at Walgreens.

7. The ‘new year’s resolution’

These people are, unfortunately, a necessary evil. The gym works as a business model because of these people who drop big money to finally get in shape this year but ultimately end up bagging the idea a month or two into the plan. They just eat up machine time and locker room space, and you know they will be gone before long, making it that much worse to wait out. Too bad they can’t just pledge the money and be done with it.

Lesser offenders

These people aren’t really a nuisance, but creep me out nonetheless. Guys who are really scared of showing their junk in the locker room, guys who shave in the locker room, and the worse of the ‘lesser’ – those who wear flip flops while working out, especially on the cardio machines. How’s that arch support working out for you?

This piece has been hanging up in my kitchen for over a year, and while not becoming ‘invisible’, I have really revisited it in the process of prepping it for photographing.

“Hasslich” was one of the many 90%-done-but-not-quite-there-yet pieces that I seem to accumulate all to easily. When I finally finished it over a year ago, it was already languishing for an additional year+ in different studio spaces as I bounced from one place to another. It is really intense to view it now through the goggles of time.

I love what the colors do in this piece… the way the cold tones meld with the warm strikes me deep, causing and alleviating conflict in the same stroke, and back again. This combined with slight hints of color compliments push the subject(s) even further.

In all honesty, I still don’t know if it is about one, two, or three persons. I had a pretty solid understanding when I started, that was replaced during the painting and the subsequent ‘languish’ time period. And even today, I have a different filter that suggests it was even more personal than originally intended.

To be clear: it is most definitely about (at least) two persons. I just don’t know if these persons are me. I have always said my paintings are a self portrait of sorts, but nothing is more obvious when I stare into this piece.

Yes!

I was ecstatic! The email was a reply from dropping off my business card months ago at Dada – an art bar in downtown San Francisco. It turns out it was just want I needed. I haven’t really painted anything since Open Studios (the Gears project I was working on has totally stalled – more on that another time) and shortly after I received this email, I started back in the studio. I have several ideas swirling around my head now that I’m getting dizzy, so we will see what happens (read: what work I can finish) before the show.

But, there’s a lesson here. Perseverance does pay off. I couldn’t be happier to be showing work, starting 2012 with a bang.

Tonka found these on the sidewalk awhile back and picked them up for me.  They have been kicking around the studio for a bit and I finally pulled them out for an examination. I thought back to a conversation I had with a friend who was having some difficulties and my gears started turning. I realized that in accordance with my Transformation ideas (series) is the element of how these transformations take place; not the cause, but the actual process of transforming. It wasn’t long before the thought manifested: Gears are the mechanisms that drive our transformations.

I have a few ideas of where to go with this, though it is too early to be sure of exactly how they will translate to the canvas. In any event, these items will make up part of the finished piece.

I had a ridiculously easy plan for this a few months back, but unfortunately, it didn’t pan out as I hoped.  I decided to make a Facebook ‘fan’ page where I would post new work, and the masses that loved it would provide their own commentaries and fuel a debate of what it is to be human.  My miscalculation was that anyone would voluntarily assume this role when me, the artist, wouldn’t even do it.

But yet I still don’t think we, as artists, should give away the mystery.  It seems that musicians can play this card famously to heightened interest and sales – we still flounder over Carole King’s object of desire (and you aren’t vein if you think a song that IS about you is… well… about you) and continuously postulate on what Lucy in the sky with diamonds is about.  But it seems us visual artists cant get away with that ‘i’m not going to tell’ strategy.

Ultimately, I know my work is challenging and highly personal, but all great art is.  And my fear becomes reality when I realize that most people don’t want to examine it. Though we never should be afraid to speak up and I offer this space here to share some thoughts beyond the miniscule Facebook posts.